My Messy State-Of-Mind…
Ah… Saturday. Wish everyday was a Saturday. You get to wake up late (Yeah, this gal loves to sleep in whenever she gets the chance, so back off! :P), watch TV the whole day or waste it in a mall for no reason. Pure freedom bliss. *Sighs dreamily*
But today was no ordinary Saturday. Today, I was a total and absolute wreck. Dunno whether its PMS or just brain-and-emotions-too-exhausted-to-function-right-day. First off, I had to wake up early coz I had to take some potential buyers to see my old condo. And I’m always no good in the morning.. I’m cranky, grumpy and no fun at all. When I got to the condo, the bloody ppl were late and made me wait in the condo (with no electricity, mind you!) for over half an hour! Dahla lambat, they totally looked down on my condo, saying that the lovely built-ins my mom designed cramped the room and that some had to be demolished. What pisses me off so much is that even after i explained that i actually OWNED the condo (well my mom does la), she still didn’t give me the time of day! So what if the condo’s abit small? Its a CONDO, genius. It’s supposed to be small. If you wanted a bigger place, look for a bloomin’ mansion la!! Honestly, the nerve of some ppl. My condo is WAYYY too good for these snobs. Am incredibly miffed that I wasted my morning on these losers.
Next, I had planned to go to OU to collect our free perfume vials with my sister, but due to some miscommunication, she made other plans pulak. So I fumed and decided to go by myself. And I REALLY didn’t feel like being alone today. I had planned to go to OU to get some nice bedlinens for… a special occasion (will tell u guys in due time), and I’m lousy at making decisions! Normally, I would’ve gone with my mom, but yesterday my mom fell, sprained AND fractured her ankle. So now my poor mommy is stuck at home with her leg in a cast, unable to spend the last day before Ramadhan doing something she loves. What makes it worse, is the fact that this shopping trip was supposed to be a mother-daughter outing, and now i had to do it alone… It really broke my heart. Somehow, I’ve never felt so alone.
But out of the blue, just as i was about to leave for OU, my dad called! He wanted to take me and my younger siblings out, and that really put a smile on my face. At last, some company. We had a good lunch @ Ikea & window-shopped for bedlinens @ Ikano. Then we headed to OU where I went to check out MORE bedlinens while my dad took my kid bro & sis to play their lil’ hearts out at the kiddy land. The whole bedlinen shopping business practically drove me nuts!!! Do I get those sweet cotton satteen sheets with lace, or do i opt for those rich, fancy shmansy covers? Do i go for cream, or beige, or champagne colored linens? What the heck is the difference anywayz?!?! I was driven half mad, I tell ya. The fact that my feet were killing me did NOT help. I REALLY needed my mom for this. I was so lost!
And so, as perdicted, I went home with no bedlinens. Am starting to get worried coz I literally have little more than 2 months before the occasion. And I’m scared as hell. Will I be able to do this? I honestly dont know if I can pull this off alone (and I’m not just talking bout bedlinens), coz I’m already a mess right now. Alright, I’ll say it… I AM FREAKING OUT!!!
So tonight, I decided to ask for God’s help. While attending my first Tarawikh session for year 2006, I prayed to Allah, hoping my mom will heal soon and for Him to give me the necessary strength and wisdom I need to face these difficult 2 months. God knows I’m gonna need it…
I just hope tomorrow will turn out much MUCH better than today… One can only hope, right? Wish me luck me lovelies…
P/S: May this Ramadhan bring peace and barakah to you all. Please forgive me for all my wrongdoings, and may all of us be blessed! Have a lovely Ramadhan dearies!
