HaZe DaZeD

OK ok…. I know I haven’t come up with anything fresh or original lately, but I’m just too bummed and stressed out these couple of days that I have absolutely no mood to do anything!!! Imagine, I practically stayed home the whole of last Sunday just becoz i dont "feel" like it. And I NEVER do that! Usually when I’m pissed off or upset or cranky I’d go for a drive or go and find anybody to bitch with or at LEAST go for a cuppa at SFC or Starbucks with a good ol’ book… I guess ppl do act weird once in a while eh?

Ok, so I came across yet another funny "article" that’s SOOO appropriate with what’s been going on for the past week. Now, I don’t mean to offend anybody, but it’s my blog and I can bloomin’ well put anything I damn well please innit.. so HAH!!! Here’s to all you hip gals and open-minded guys who has the guts to laugh at themselves…

Things Men Take for Granted

1) Your last name stays put. << Actually, I’ve no clue what this means

2) The garage is all yours. << If only!

3) Wedding plans take care of themselves. << Agree 10 kazillion times over!!!

4) Chocolate is just another snack. << It’s a whole different food group la! Same like protein, carbs, etc… Must we teach you EVERYTHING???

5) You can never be pregnant. << Whoever thinks this is either stupid, or in denial…

6) You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. << For obvious reasons… sheesh!

7) You can wear no T-shirt to a water park. << Ditto

Car mechanics tell you the truth. << Yes yes… that’s why they charge us women twice the price they do men…

9) The world is your urinal. << Euuuwwww… Gross!!!

10) You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just ‘too icky’. << Refer to point #9!

11) You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. << Let’s see if they can tell the difference between fettuccini and penne first!

12) Same work, more pay. << Dream on…

13) Wrinkles add character. << Yeah yeah…. that’s why alot of older men with plenty of "character" go for the "characterless" bimbos, call divorcees "gatal" and and blame all divorces on women… Some "character", huh?

14) Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental - $100. << Why do they think duit hantaran kahwin gets higher and higher nowadays??

15) People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. << Yeah. They only stare at the "twins"…

Here’s another "amusing" article I read on the net: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060526/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bush_blair

Ah yes…. Sarcasm is the best policy in this world… Have a good weekend peeps!!!

Here are a few hilarious life ponderings & my comments for your sarcastic viewing pleasure… Enjoy Peeps!

Deep Observations on Life

1) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."

-Johnny Carson

HaZe: But then, what’ll happen to Vegas?!?!?

2) "Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography."

-Paul Rodriguez

HaZe: Geography and How To Watch The News

3) "My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law."

-Jerry Seinfeld

HaZe: Wow… kinda like the opposite of Neverland, huh?

4) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"

-Warren Hutcherson

HaZe: Only if they were burned from head/feet first… hehehe

5) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same."

-Oscar Wilde

HaZe: Will remember this for future reference! hehe

6) "Suppose you were an idiot And suppose you were a member of Congress… But I repeat myself."

-Mark Twain

HaZe: I guess its the same anywhere in the world!

7) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan."

-A. Whitney Brown

HaZe: Well waddya know… they’ve created something thats even smarter than their country’s leader… Maybe it can run for congress, too!

"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’"

-Dave Barry

HaZe: Wow… this guy can read a dog’s facial expressions??? *kagum kagum* Wonder if he can read Sly Stallone’s facial expression? Coz I haven’t a clue!

9) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken.

-Unknown, presumed deceased

HaZe: PRESUMED deceased??? Hahaha.. he’d better be, or he’s gonna wish he was!!!